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Pick-up Artist Lesson #27: Achieving things non-verbally!!
Reading some of these posts and talking to people, I thought it would be a good idea to write about how what you do non-verbally is so fucking important. If you learn to play the non-verbal game, then you’re in.
Let’s take kissing for example. I know from experience that if a girl wants a guy to kiss her, even really bad, and the guy doesn’t, she’ll NEXT HIM. That’s right! She’ll move on. There are those girls that will go ahead and make a move, but assume that she’ll next you, cause I’d say the majority will.
So what’s that tell you? A girl EXPECTS a guy to read her signals. They hate it when guys try to kiss them when they aren’t attracted, but they don’t like it when guys don’t kiss them when they want to be kissed. You have to be able to read girls, and they do it all non-verbally. But what you do will put you in certain situations:
The Friend Zone
This has been discussed many times, but for the sake of saving you guys headaches, it boils down to this: You ACT like a friend, you will BE a friend.
If you DISPLAY traits that friends have, she’ll consider you a friend. Notice the use of the word display, not if you tell her you want to be friends. So how do you avoid falling into the friend zone? Well…
You attract her.
So many guys TRY to be friends first, thinking that they’ll advance from there. We all know that doesn’t happen except in movies (think of your odds being the same as winning the lotto).
You remain confident, and don’t let her walk all over you
Friends buy friends stuff. Friends hang out with each other all the time. Friends call each other “just to talk” (if you’re dealing with a girl that is). Friends talk about problems, alpha males don’t! You listen to her problems, you become her friend. This has been discussed before, so I’ll leave it at that.
Dating Vs. Relationships
It’s important to figure out your goals. I’m personally in this for dating right now, and I’m not interested in relationships. I want to perfect my game more and more and worry about relationships when I get older. So what do I do?
I DON’T ACT LIKE I’M IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN I’M NOT
I don’t date girls on Fridays or Saturdays. I don’t do what they tell me. I don’t spend hours with them. I don’t get together with them more than once, or occasionally twice a week. I don’t call them everyday, I don’t buy them stuff, and I don’t get all emotional.
I act like I’m dating. That means I call her maybe once a week, but only to setup a time to meet. I’m not interested in small talk. It accomplishes nothing over the phone except eliminating kino, eye contact, body language, and mystery. When we do hang out, I keep it short, and leave when things are going good.
Over Emotional Guys
I almost want to tell you to drop your emotions! Guys that react to quickly are unattractive. Guys that get pissed too easily, or guys that are to sensitive, wtf! Girls don’t like this. You don’t even have to say you’re pissed or yell, a girl can tell by your body language. What you need to do is relax and not let things get to you. If a girl flakes out on you, it’s almost always your fault. You mis-read her, you displayed traits you shouldn’t have, you did something wrong (except the occasional flakes that actually do happen on accident, but VERY rarely). You’re not going to call this girl and bitch at her. You’re going to act alpha. If a girl flakes out on you for coffee, if you’re not ready to NEXT, you wait till the next day in which you call and say:
“Hey [girls name]. I know you’re probably upset that I didn't make it yesterday, but my car broke down and I had left my cell phone at home that day. Maybe we can get together early next week?”
Save face, and avoid bitching at her with, “I can’t believe you did that!” or “You really missed out!” which shows her that you’re upset. Obviously won’t do anything for you.
Keep in mind that girls WILL read between the lines. They analyze EVERYTHING! And words are the least analyzed thing. Body language, behavior, tone, attitude, that all gets analyzed more than words. It’s actions that girls look into, so you have to learn to play the game, not talk the game.
These are just some examples to non-verbal things that can put you certain situations you don’t want to be in, then you wonder how you got there. An example of a non-verbal, positive thing is distance flirting.
You distance flirt with a girl. Completely non-verbal, however it puts you in the situation where you have a girl that’s attracted and ANTICIPATING your approach. You don’t walk up to a girl and say, “I’m going to approach you in 5 minutes. Go build up some anticipation before I come back.” You DO SOMETHING to MAKE it HAPPEN! Get it?
Another example: How can you tell a guy is nervous just by observing him? Well, his body language/nervous habits. Pacing, biting of nails, constant fidgeting (especially if he usually doesn’t fidget), etc. So being alpha is really based off of non-verbal communication.
Your posture, your tone, your body language, your EYES, your facial expressions, your walk, your confidence: all non-verbal things that display alpha male qualities, thus categorizing you as an alpha male in her mind.
I could truly go on for hours, but this is an intro that should make you guys aware of the other 90-95% of your game which is the non-verbal part. Pay attention to it, and think of situations where you got LJBF’ed or NEXTed because of your non-verbal communication. You should really pay more attention to what you're REALLY saying by not actually saying anything!
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