Khronicles of Kaptn Krunch: College

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Written by Kaptn Krunch

Monday, 12 July 2010 20:23

Khronicles of Kaptn Krunch: College

I entered a community college in my area devirginized but defeated. My ex had broken up with me a few weeks before the school year was to start, and I felt like shit. But the gods were smiling on me this year, because for whatever reason, I started to go to church with my mom.

Yes, church. I know you're saying, how can this be a good thing. Well...At this particular church, there were no less than a lot of 17 - 22 year old women in the youth group. After much prodding by my mother, I finally decided to check it out. It was as if the heavens opened up and a beam of light shown down on me. I was truely the bad boy here. I had done drugs, been drunk, smoked, chewed, cussed & had sex. Not one other guy there had done 1/2 the stuff I had. The women flocked (again, no game required on my part).

The youth group leaders hated me, which only made the women like me even more. The more the leaders would say, "Kaptn Krunch is a bad influence, you stay away from him", the more offers of dates I'd get. I'd go on a date here and there, and made out/2nd base with a lot of women...And actually dated one for about 6 months. Mostly, I didn't have the game to close the deal...This continued till I was 21.

It's funny looking back on it now and realizing the point in your life when everything just clicked. It seemed that at 21, I realized why I had been dumped at age 18. It wasn't for a better car. It was because I was the nice guy. I dropped hundreds and hundreds of dollars on her but got nowhere. The guy that stole her from me, dropped 0 on her and treated her like shit. I realized that my mistake was that I was way too nice and got taken advantage of.

I slowly began to form my new attitude. I tried being the super huge asshole but that didn't work so well for me, since I was really a decent guy. I settled for a middle ground. Not too nice, but not too much of an asshole Since I had always had a good sense of humor, I found that this was my best asset with the opposite sex. Armed with my new weapons, I went out in the world ready to conquer.

Getting the hot girl everyone else wanted
Go big or go home has always been my motto, so for my 1st test of the new Kaptn, I set my sights high. While in college, I worked at a dept store. They hired a new girl for the Christmas rush and WOW she was sexy. Even now I rate her an HB 8.5. Every single guy there would put the visual images of her away in the spank bank for later use, myself included. I just had to have her, but how? Every other male that could breath would have sold their testicles for her. Their game was to overpower her with complements. I watched her neg guy after guy after guy. They had no shot with her.

A month had gone by and I was biding my time. It seemed I had waited too long since a month after she started, she was dating one of the guys I worked with. He was, I guess, a friend of mine. I have no idea how he landed her, because he was the nicest of the lot. He was Mr. SUPER nice guy. Always bought her stuff, showered her with complements. He was me from 3 years before.

Fearing I had lost her, I made my move. At the time, she had died a portion of her hair red. To me, it looked like a huge circle of spilled red paint. I had my weapon of choice and made my move.
Me: "Wow, your hair looks real great (sarcastic)"
Her: "Really, you think so?"
Me: "Yeah, I especially like the huge red dot thing you've got going on"
Her: "Laughing"

With the laugh, I knew I was in. I worked some game on her for a few more weeks, never complementing her at all. I finally had the balls to make my move despite her ever hovering boyfriend. I asked her to lunch in front of her boyfriend (whom I worked with)...And she said yes. She drug the boyfriend along with her to lunch just in case I was a psycho, but that didn't phase me. At lunch, we had amazing EC and great conversation, which left the BF out in the cold. Later that day I'd # close her.

I called her up a few days later and setup a date. She invited me to a party at her place since her mom was out of town (she was 18). I figured, ok, a party with her and her friends...A sausage fest. I was surprised when I arrived and it was just a few of her girlfriends and me. I knew no one except her, but started making the rounds introducing myself to all her female friends. It was working. Anytime I was talking to another woman, didn't matter what I said to them, she'd give them the evil eye. Anyhoo...We got so ****ed up that I had to run to the bathroom to puke 1/2 way through the night, but I kept myself from passing out. No need to blow a possible good time by passing out on the 1st date.

Kaptn FTW

By the time it hit 12AM, all of her friends had gone except me. We were finally alone and I made my move. I lunged in (I was hammered and so was she) expecting to get rejected. No rejection was there and we made out for a few minutes, then went straight to 2nd base. Holy shit she was hot! She had C cup breasts and one of the best asses and legs I've ever seen. I stopped to ask her about this and she said that she did 100 pushups and 100 situps/night, plus ran a few miles every day. Another turn-on. Since she was receptive to 2nd base, I went for 3rd base. I started removing her shirt and bra and started unbuttoning her shorts. She was very wet by the time I started fingering her.

She jumped up and ran into her bedroom and motioned me to followed. I had 1 more shot of vodka and then entered her room. She had gotten completely naked and motioned me to come up on the bed. I obliged and started going to town with my tongue on her nether regions. She tasted like heaven, and was REALLY into it. She orgasmed and dug her fingernails into my back and drew blood. God damn I was turned on by that. Another minute and another orgasm and more digging her nails into my back. After the 2nd orgasm, she threw me back down on the floor and started giving me a BJ. I've gotta say it was the 2nd best I've ever had. I was so close to nutting, but wanted to PIITB, so I stopped her. I got about 1" from entering her holy of holies, but she said no since there was no condom (sex with no condom happens a lot in my stories). She polished me off and with that, I called it a night and drove drunk 2 miles home.

The next day at work, the word had already spread. I had almost PIITB with HB 8.5. Her boyfriend was quite upset since he hadn't gotten past 1st base with her. Since I was about 7" taller than he was he never did anything except empty threats. A day or 2 later and she broke up with him, which left him crying in the aisle for most of the day (pussy). I was the man as far as my friends and coworkers were concerned.

I guess I should explain my angle with game a bit better. Mind you that this was before anyone had written a book on being a PUA, so it was all trial and error.

I guess it was the saying Nice guys finish last that really stuck with me. I originally took that to mean that super huge assholes get the women, and at 1st, that's what I really thought. So I changed myself into a super huge asshole

I'd never complement a woman and would make fun of them constantly. Not joking making fun on, but make them practically cry make fun of. It worked with the chicks with very low self esteem, but the rest, not so much. Once they realized I wasn't very nice ever, Kaptn got no #'s...Except for the psycho's. Not to say there's anything wrong with PIITB of psychos sometimes. Actually, I seem to really attract psychos even now. My friends dubbed me the psycho magnet years ago, which seemed quite fitting.

After a few months of super huge asshole kaptn, I realized it wasn't working quite like I'd expected, so again, I changed my game up. I went back to being nice to see if maybe just approaching women combined with confidence but still being nice would get me anywhere. Sure, I got #'s, but they quickly tired of my never ending complements, and never ending willingness to blow hundreds of $$ on them. After another few months of no sex and nothing more than 1st base, I retired super nice guy for good.

I realized that my best weapon was the ability to be sarcastic and joke with people. Poking fun at women in a joking manor seemed to be the ticket to scoring the home runs. I again modified my personality to fit the part of the sarcastic, confident cocky guy. Women still would call me an asshole but it was said with love. The only thing I really changed from the super huge asshole was the level of meanness and the frequency of poking fun at the women around me. I just replaced anger with being funny and being cocky.

This combination seems to be the golden ticket of the PUA. If you aren't confident, you will get shot down. If you don't think you're “the shit” you'll probably get shot down. If you have no sense of humor, please get one quickly. Women want a guy that can make them laugh. Laughter & confidence combined with some humor at the woman's expense = chick magnet.

FWIW - Your height has 0% to do with your success with women, unless you're extremely short...I'm talking like under 5'4". Your looks maybe has 10% to do with your success with women. The other 90% is all about how you present yourself and how you view yourself. If you think you're a POS, guess what, they'll think you're a POS.
So for those that think I've always been Mr. Casanova and such, let me ask you this. How many of you have had a kid at age 20 while trying to PIITB of as many chicks as possible? I'm guessing about 1%. I am part of that 1%.

I guess I should have mentioned that the relationship I had at age 19 - 20, I ended up getting her pregnant and she had the baby. So, I had the added challenge of either having potential females find out I was a daddy, or straight up telling them that. Let me tell you, having a conversation with a potential PIITB that you're a father at age 20ish isn't something that's easy to do. But I rolled with the punches, and most of the time I could smooth things over.

I guess I should tell that story to clear the air.

I met her at youth group/college & career group. I was 19 and she was a 16y/o (Legal in my state to date 16 Y/O's unless you're 8 years older than they are IIRC). She was about a 7.5 I'd say and out of all the chicks at church, was one of the best looking ones that was single. Only problem was she was UBER stuck up and had the biggest bitch shield to break down. She'd have rather spit on you than give you the time of day if you weren't up to her standards. She thought she was the queen and she acted like the world owed her everything.

I actually hated her at first because I thought she was the biggest stuck up bitch. Well, after knowing her for a few months, but never saying a word to her, a group of people and I happened to be playing truth of dare and they dared me to ask her on a date (fully knowing that I hated her). They had no idea that I was never one to turn down a dare. I said ok, walked right up to her and said, "they dared me to ask you out...So, wana go out sometime". She said, "As long as you're paying, sure." I was floored that I didn't get rejected. I got her # to setup the date.

I called her up a few days later and setup a date for Friday evening. That evening, I showered her with complements, cause she really was attractive and played the super nice guy role...Cause it's all I knew. It actually worked on her because she said most guys were too scared to talk to her, so she had only had gone on 2 dates in her entire life. Gee, wonder why Ms. Bitch Shield. Anyway, she was a virgin and eventually 6 or 7 months later on the evening of her 17th b-day, I started sleeping with her...And a month later she got pregnant. Pregnancy & no abortion = Kaptn Krunch the daddy at 20 @ 1/2 years old.

Well, during the pregnancy, I was totally not happy about the whole thing, and she hated me for knocking her up. About 5 months pregnant, she went away to visit her grandparents and ran into one of her old crushes. He showered her with affection cause he'd always been in love with her...So, she came back and broke up with me because I wasn't like Mr. Out of State. I didn't care since I didn't really want to be with a pregnant woman anyway.

So...Like I said, at 20 & 1/2, I became a father, which besides me not wanting to be in that situation, only complicated my "dating" measures in the near future.

Before any women or men hunt me down and BEAT me senseless because of what a fucking asshole I am/was, or what I just said...Know this, I eventually married her many years later after we both sowed our wild oats, so all is well.

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